Do you still have your period?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just had sex on a roof
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
