It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am one with the molecules
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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