You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
