How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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