i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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