I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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