Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
