Umm I'm too high to move.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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