Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
