Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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