We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
