Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I smell stomach acid.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
