Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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