I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
