Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
