He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
