My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
