Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
