Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
