He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
