He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
