No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
