Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
