She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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