he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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