There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
