is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
