I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
