Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
