1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
