woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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