A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
