I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
