Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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