so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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