We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We left the knife in your bed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
