it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
