I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
