just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
