Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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