if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
