I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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