Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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