I got chris browned last night
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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