I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
