Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the condom got lost in my hair
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
