She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
