I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
