I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
