she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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