how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
