i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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